


The Storm Before the Calm

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-06 20:51:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10344318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: SPOILERS : Um, I’m going to say..."Hathor."CONTENT WARNING: This deals with rape. Please don’t read this if it will in anyway offend or hurt you.Jack helps Daniel open up about Hathor.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

The Storm Before the Calm

Jack stepped into the doorway of Daniel's office, a move that went totally unnoticed by the young archeologist.

Daniel stared at his computer screen blindly, rubbing his forehead.

Jack watched him for many moments before pushing off from the door jamb.   He shut the door slowly and took a seat next to Daniel's desk.

Daniel whipped his head around to Jack.   "Jack?   When..." he said, dazed.   He looked at his watch, the computer, back to Jack.   He reached under his glasses and rubbed his eyes.   _How long have I been sitting here?_ he wondered.

"How are you, Daniel?" Jack asked gently. 

 

Daniel quickly glanced at Jack and then back at his computer.   For days since Hathor had made her way into the SGC and laid waste to all the men therein, Daniel seemed missing, just barely on the radar screens, hardly disturbing the air around him.

"Daniel, I asked you a question." Jack reiterated.

"I'm fine," Daniel answered, picking up a pencil and jotting down a note in a book.

"Daniel, I need you to talk to me here," Jack said.

"About what?"

"Hathor," Jack said, letting the repulsive word exit his mouth. 

Daniel felt the blood leave his arms at the rancorous sound of the name.   Not wanting Jack to push the subject any further, he shook his head and continued to write.   "I don't really see the point in that." 

"What she did to you, Daniel, is...I think we should talk," Jack said. 

Daniel raised his eyebrows.   "There's nothing to talk about, Jack," Daniel said, shaking his head.    He glanced over to see that Jack wasn't leaving.    "But you're not going to leave until I do, right?" 

Jack nodded.

Daniel glared at him and threw his pencil angrily across his desk.   "This is ridiculous."

"Why?"

"Because nothing happened!" Daniel barked.   He tore off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"You sure about that?" Jack asked.

Daniel locked eyes with Jack, trying to determine if Jack would let it go, or if Jack was going to pester him until Daniel talked.   Seeing the perseverance in Jack's dark eyes, Daniel gave in.   He tossed his glasses onto the desk.

"I can't or don't really remember it...all," Daniel finally said.

"Daniel, what happened?   What did she do?"

"When?" Daniel asked in avoidance.

"What happened before Sam found you?"   Jack asked.

Daniel stared at Jack again, not really sure if he wanted to delve into those dark recesses where nightmares brew and agitate until sleep comes.   "I'm not sure.   She...Hathor... kissed me, told me she needed my... 'code of life'.    That's all I remember."

Jack shook his head. "That's it?"

Daniel felt his stomach churn and tighten.   He ground his teeth together, anxious about the hidden memory.   He kept his eyes trained on Jack, not really seeing him, but seeing through him, lost in a chaotic haze.   

"Daniel?"

Daniel rolled his eyes and sighed.   "I knew something was happening, I guess.   I tried to...stop it.   I think.   I know I didn't want anything like that to happen, but it happened.   Apparently," he said.   Daniel averted his eyes. 

Jack leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.    His gut started to twist, and the muscles in his neck began to constrict.   This was not what he wanted to hear, but he knew it was exactly what he was going to hear.    He avoided looking directly at Daniel.   He thought if he could just keep Daniel talking, keep him at ease, he'd open up and rid himself of the crippling memory of Hathor.

"Okay," Jack said quietly, lacing his fingers together.   "Then what?"

Daniel propped his elbows up on his desk and pressed his fingers into his eyes until all he could see were the imprints of lights, not her face.   "Is this an official debriefing, Jack?" He jutted his jaw forward.

"I don't want to do this anymore than you, Daniel."

"Then don't," Daniel coldly told him.

"It's not that simple.  You don't get this out in the open, you don't go off-world," Jack informed him.   He locked eyes with his friend, hoping beyond hope that Daniel would just talk so Jack wouldn't have to pursue this sickening conversation any further. 

Daniel contemptuously held Jack's focus.   "I don't see the correlation.   And frankly, it's none of your business."

"What's none of my business?"

Daniel closed his eyes and covered his ears, too tired to fight with Jack.   "Please, Jack.   Don't...don't..." Flashes of color and sound pulsed through his mind.   "I don't particularly care to talk about this."

"When Sam found you in the VIP room, she said you were a little spacey," Jack prodded him.   He couldn't stand to see the pain that he was inflicting on Daniel, but he knew he had to.

"I don't know," Daniel said, digging his fingernails painfully into his scalp.

"She asked if you were okay.   She said you just stared into space.   What happened?"

"I don't remember," he said in a weak voice.

Jack used every ounce of restraint he could muster to keep his voice even and calm.   "You were sitting in the VIP room.   What happened?"

Constellations swirled through Daniel's mind.   Visions of the night sky twinkled and surrounded him, calmed him.   _Sha're..._

"Daniel?" 

"I was sitting on the corner of the bed and...I kept thinking about the moon and the stars, and that somewhere Sha're was looking at some sky wondering where I was," Daniel said quietly.   His body felt heavy to him, heavy and weak.   The muscles around his mouth twitched.

Jack rubbed a hand across his jaw.   They were going into an area he felt absolutely unprepared to go.   But there was no turning back.   For Daniel, Jack listened silently, cursing the day that Hathor ever stepped foot inside the SGC.

"I kept focusing on that thought.   Where was Sha're?   What was she doing?   Could she see the night sky?   Would she be thinking of me?   Would she know that I was thinking of her?   Would she be thinking of me _thinking_ of her?   That's the only thing I could do.   Think in circles, no start and no end."

"You were in shock, Daniel," Jack said, trying to reassure his friend.

"Maybe.   I don't know."

"And then?"

Daniel took a deep breath, threw his head back with his eyes closed, and expelled the air forcefully.   The questions and retrieval of answers were exhausting to him.   The intertwining memories of the two women, Sha're and Hathor, were excruciating.   He trudged forward, just wanting to get it over with, wanting it to be done.   "An hour or so later, when I could move again, I walked out into the hall to go to my quarters.   I wasn't wearing a shirt.   I don't know when I lost that," Daniel said, as much asking his friend as telling him..

Jack shrugged his shoulders.   There was only so much information that he would be able to supply Daniel.   Jack's own memories of the day were hazy as well, but he knew in his soul they weren't as horrific as Daniel's experience with the beast.

"So..." Jack said, attempting to prompt Daniel, and terribly uncomfortable with the concept.   He pinched the bridge of his nose.   Horrible thoughts rushed through his mind.   Thoughts so repulsive and unnerving Jack had to force himself to continue. "So, you and Hathor..."

Daniel slunk down in his chair and grabbed the headrest.   He forced himself to breathe.   "We...that is she and...I mean, rationally, I know Hathor and I had had some kind of contact.   But as for **how** it happened...I don't know, Jack."

Jack nodded his head, remembering how Daniel had told Sam and Janet they would find his DNA in the mess of the whirlpool room.   Back there, sitting in the room,   it struck him as grotesque; sitting in Daniel's office, it struck him as horrifying.   "We went home after that.   What happened when you got to your apartment?"

"Um," Daniel said, rubbing the back of his neck.   Vile feelings and cold memories began to creep into his body.   Imprints of hours spent weeping, spent curled up on the floor pounded in his brain.   Daniel's knees began to nervously jump up and down under his desk.   He felt that if he recounted the lost hours, he'd be catapulted directly back there, adrift in panic and fear.   And so he decided he wouldn't subject himself to that.   Not again.   He shook his head angrily. 

"No, Jack.   I don't want to do this anymore!" Daniel yelled, suddenly on his feet, pacing in tight circles.   His chest heaved as his heart hammered against his ribcage.

"Daniel, you have to talk to me," Jack told him, watching him carefully, biting back on his anger.

"That's where you're wrong.   I have a choice.   I always have a choice.   It's called freedom not to speak!" Daniel cried, punching at the air with each syllable. 

Jack stood up and put his hands out to show Daniel he meant no harm.   "Daniel, calm down."

Daniel grabbed hold of a bookshelf and dropped his head between his arms.   He screwed his eyes shut tight. 

"When you left here that morning, you seemed okay.   When you came back the following day, you were distant.   What the hell happened?"   

Water cascaded in his mind.   Water that at once soothed and seered into his skin, into wounded tissue and flesh.   Scorching pain returned to his body, a vivid memory of that morning.   He heard his name repeated over and over, the tone of her voice reproachful and angry. _I'm sorry, Sha're..._

"Daniel?" 

Daniel shook his head resignedly.   "I went to my apartment.   I walked around mindlessly," he said tersely.   "I was..." The latent impressions from that moment days earlier trampled over him.   "I was...numb.   My mind was...jumbled."   

"And then?" 

"I remember being in the shower.   I remember standing, washing my...my body."   Daniel

"Yes, you do," Jack said quietly.   He nodded to Daniel, a gesture that he hoped said 'trust me' to his agonizing friend. 

Daniel glanced up to the ceiling and tried to gather his resolve.   "It felt..." Daniel pulled at the back of his neck.   "It felt..."   Daniel rubbed his tight chest.

"Take your time, Daniel," Jack quietly said.   The tension emanating from Daniel's body was palpable. 

"It felt...raw and bruised," Daniel choked.   His hands were shaking and numb.   He crossed his arms over his chest, nervously switched arm positions, threw one hand over his eyes, and said the awful words again.   "Raw and bruised."   Daniel pulled his hand over his face and searched Jack's eyes.   Suddenly he saw Jack for what he was- his friend, and at that moment he needed his friend desperately.   "How did that happen?" 

Jack shook his head.

"I've made love to my wife.   I know what how it feels to have sex, but this was..."   Daniel

Daniel was opening to him, purging himself of the trauma.   Jack forced himself to override his desire to end it there, not push Daniel, to allow him his privacy.   But the box was open, and Jack had to see it through.

"What were you crying about?" Jack asked, approaching Daniel slowly but maintaining a comfortable distance. 

"I was crying because I knew Sha're was going to be so angry with me," Daniel said softly.   He turned his face from Jack, his mouth slightly agape, ashamed of his inability to have more control over himself.

"Why would Sha're be angry with you?" Jack asked.   He couldn't understand the jump in reasoning.

Daniel pressed his head against the wall and produced a dark, cynical laugh which made Jack's skin crawl.

"What if I contracted some sort of disease because of what I had done?   How could I ever tell Sha're that?   What if I were to give Sha're some disease because of some stupid, idiotic thing I had done?" Daniel mournfully asked.   His eyes darted nervously around the room.     "She's going to be so angry with me.   How can I tell her what I did?"

"First of all, Sha're would never be angry with you, " Jack told him style='color:black'>passionately.   "Second, you didn't do anything, Daniel."

"I ruined my marriage."

Jack's jaw dropped.   "What?!"

Daniel shook his head.   "She'll never be able to look at me again.   She'll never be able to trust me again.   And, really, if you think about it, why would she want to?   Obviously, I am untrustworthy," he said, bitterly ashamed of himself.   Daniel pressed the heel of his hand into his eye and hit the side of his head against the wall.

Jack shook his head.   "You can't really believe that," he said.

"Yes, I do believe that," he shamefully announced.   Daniel wrapped his arms around his head and made himself tell Jack how far he had sacrificed his marriage.   "If I could be trusted, I never would have been in that situation with Hathor to begin with."

"That wasn't your fault." 

"It **was** my fault.   Who else can I blame?"

"Oh, I don't know.   Maybe... **Hathor?!** " 

"She didn't force me." Daniel said dejectedly, letting his arms drop to his side.

"Dammit, Daniel, she did!"      

"How could she?   I'm a man.   Generally, fear has the opposite effect, if you... know what I mean," Daniel said, nervously glancing at Jack.

Jack bobbed his head up and down uncomfotably acknowledging he understood.   "Yeah, I...but, Daniel.   That's not really the point."   Jack stepped directly in front of Daniel, knowing full well the discomfort his proximity might bring.   "The point is she **did** force you," he said.

Daniel shook his head.   "No."

"She used her pheremones to drug you."

"No."

"Daniel, she forced herself on you."

"No."

Jack could no longer contain his anger with what Hathor had done to Daniel .   The colonel grabbed Daniel's elbows and shook him. "Would you just listen to me?   She drugged you and made you have sex with her!"   

Daniel's eyes blinked. "That can't happen."

"Yes, it can."

"No.   It can't " Daniel closed his eyes, not wanting to hear anymore. 

"It can, and it did happen, Daniel," Jack said.   He clenched his jaw knowing he'd have to say the word in order to make Daniel understand.   He took a deep breath before letting the term shatter the air.

"It's called rape," Jack said compassionately.

The air in Daniel's lungs left him.   He suddenly looked exhausted.   His shoulders slumped forward.   Jack felt Daniel begin to lose his footing.

"Men aren't raped," Daniel said tenuously.   "I wasn't raped."   Slowly, Daniel began to slide down the corner.   Jack helped him to the floor.   The young man laid his elbows wearily on his knees and hung his head between his arms. 

Jack crouched in front of Daniel, swallowing hard on the distateful word.   "I think you were," he said quietly. 

Daniel shook his head.   His body was numb.   The word exploded in his mind.

"Rape isn't about sex, Daniel, or procuring the 'code of life'.   It's about power and control.   That's Hathor in a nut shell.   She had power **and** control over you.   You had no choice."   

"I was...raped?" Daniel whispered, looking at Jack in shock.   His eyes filled with tears of bitter realization.

"Yeah, Danny."

One tear slid down Daniel's pale cheek.   He pulled his head tighter into his knees, wanting to disappear.   "Oh, my God.   Sha're's going to be so angry with me." 

"Daniel, Sha're won't be angry with you," Jack assured him, rubbing the back of Daniel's head.   "This wasn't your fault."

"What am I going to do, Jack?" Daniel cried.   The incredible sense of guilt that gripped him threatened to suffocate him.

Jack wrapped his arms around the young man.   "You're going to get up every morning and remind yourself that you didn't do anything wrong.   You're going to keep saying that until you believe it.   Do you understand me?"

"How am I ever going to be able to tell Sha're?" Daniel croaked.   He reached up and grabbed Jack's shirt. 

"You'll tell her that something awful happened to you, that you're okay now, and that you're grateful she understands.   Because she will understand, Daniel."

    

Daniel held Jack's shirt in his fists, afraid to open his eyes.   "I want to go home," Daniel cried.

"I'll take you home," Jack said.   "Let me call General Hammond and tell him where we're going."   Jack stood up. 

Daniel clasped his hand onto Jack's arm.   "Don't...don't tell him..."

Jack shook his head.   "I won't, Daniel.   This goes no further.   Trust me."

Daniel let go of Jack and covered his face with his hands.

Jack walked over to Daniel's desk, dialed the number to General Hammond's office, and watched his friend weeping in the corner.   While he waited for the general to answer the phone, Jack ruefully thought of what he would do the next time they came across Hathor.   His heart blackened at the sight of his friend, a good and kind man, destroyed by the wanton act of a creature controlled by a snake in her head.   

_Wherever you are, Hathor, hear this.   You will pay.   God help me, I will make you feel pain.   I will make you hurt a hurt you can't even imagine, and then I will coil my hands around your snakey-ass neck and squeeze the life from you.  And I'll do it for Daniel.   And for me.   And for all the other men you've ruined for your own pleasure._

_You can hear me, can't you, Hathor?   What you did to Daniel...How you're making him suffer...You will suffer ten times more.   One-hundred times more.   I make you this promise, Hathor.   By my hands, you will suffer._

_You will pay for this._

**The End**

  


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> It is not my intention nor my want to use the trauma of rape as a source of inspiration. Recently, thanks to my lovely new DVD's, I was able to watch "Hathor" for the first time. Seeing Daniel alone in the VIP room amidst the disheveled bedding, I was kind of wigged out. Something bubbled up in me, and this  
> epilogue is the result of that. Again, this is a very sensitive subject. Please read it with caution.  
> Thank you to Lin and Arren for your words of encouragement and  
> insight. You two kept me honest. Best Betas the world has ever seen.  
> Mary the Badger, for tapping me on the  
> shoulder and saying, "Ahem. I  
> don't think so..." Let's not  
> forget Sarah, who, with her hands thrust in her pockets, makes me laugh more  
> than anyone in the world. And it's a  
> big ol' world...

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>   
> © July 4, 2001 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characterswho have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.   
> 

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